Just make sure to join a faction that's usually active in a war with pretty decent cavalry like the Vaegirs or Swadians so that it's easier to replenish forces when they die.
Plus, when you take a place, it's usually yours, and since you're the PC, you can solo cities with your OP specialized forces and win, and you'll get the city because you took it. Hell, everytime I talked to a lord after becoming one they end with "I'll always be your most ardent armirer". By raising your relationship with her guardian (either her father or her brother) and asking to. So in the end, what changes is the approach, sure you can get whatever you could get as a man by the end, but the way there is just different, and in some way, possibly easier. The alternate way to meet a lady is to go through her family. Males marrying didn't mean much because women don't come for much, but for females, marrying means mad money, mad lands and mad army. Not much else changes in regards to that, what changes is that you can get married into a buttload of power.
Playing as a woman pretty much means you don't get the fief when you join the lord.
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